I would like to add a disclaimer that I just read Mukojima Sensei’s October Echo article and realized our articles are very similar. My mail at our apartment was placed on hold by accident, so I didn’t get to read Sensei’s article until it was too late and I had nearly finished mine. I apologize for the similarities, but hope everyone who reads our articles can deepen their understanding of Namo Amida Butsu.
“When life is fair and sunlight guilds the day,
When fortune smiles and flowers adorn our way;
Oft let us pause with grateful hearts to say
Namo Amida Butsu.
Even though our way leads ‘neath a darkened sky,
And to our loved ones pain and death draw nigh;
Our tears may flow, yet trustingly we cry
Namo Amida Butsu”
from the Gatha, Namo Amida Butsu.
To me, this gatha is the essence of our Jodo Shinshu teachings. In our tradition, it is said that all we must do in this life is to hold the Nembutsu in our hearts and minds knowing that we are embraced by the infinite Wisdom and Compassion of Amida Buddha. This sounds easy in theory, but in reality, I have found it to be very difficult to practice. I have often asked myself, “What is the Nembutsu? What is Namo Amida Butsu? and how can one phrase be the truth in this life?”
Understanding the Nembutsu is Complicated
My understanding of the Nembutsu has been fluid and has changed constantly over the years. However, it is always easy to remember the Nembutsu when life is going well. The gatha Namo Amida Butsu reminds us of this.
“When life is fair and sunlight guilds the day,
When fortune smiles and flowers adorn our way;
Oft let us pause with grateful hearts to say
Namo Amida Butsu.”
To me, this means that in our times of strength and joy the Nembutsu comes easy to us. It is harder to question the Nembutsu teaching when nothing in our life is going wrong.
But what about when our life is not going so well. How can Nembutsu be the answer to poverty, discrimination, mental health issues, death, sickness, and so on? These past few years I have been searching for the response to that question. And at each step along the way, my understanding of the Nembutsu has become more and more complicated.
One experience that has helped me better understand the Nembutsu, Namo Amida Butsu, was when my grandma passed away when I was in high school. Unfortunately, because she lived in Utah and didn’t really understand English that well, I never really knew her on a personal level. I only knew her through the stories my mom and aunties told us from when they were growing up or from the stories my cousins shared since they all lived close by to her. My mom always made an effort for us to go visit her at least once a year, so thankfully I was able to form my own memories of her even if they were short. From what I could tell, she was an amazing and strong woman and I was still able to feel deeply connected to her and loved by her. I remember that in her last few days with us, my aunties had asked for our family to gather and chant together. This was difficult since half of us lived in California, while the other half lived in Utah. Luckily, we managed to do this through Skype. We recited Namo Amida Butsu together. “Namandabu Namandabu Namandabu.” I remember the Nembutsu echoed through her room and ours. At first, I thought maybe the sound of the Nembutsu would wake her up so that we could spend a little more time with her or that the Nembutsu had some magical powers that would extend her life if we said it more. But I have come to learn that is not how Nembutsu works.
Let Buddha’s Teachings Guide Us
I have come to realize that Namo Amida Butsu isn’t just some simple phrase that we say to complete a ritual or practice and it is also not some sort of mystical and magical spell that we say to make our lives better. Rather, we say it, or I say it as a way to say “don’t worry, we are in good hands, so we should let the Buddha’s teachings guide me.” By reciting Namo Amida Butsu, I am expressing my trust in the Wisdom and Compassion of Amida Buddha and their wish to liberate all beings from the cycle of suffering. At the end of the day, when I feel like I am left with nothing, I can still rest easily knowing that I am embraced in the Buddha’s light that grasps all sentient beings.
I remember hearing the gatha Namo Amida Butsu at my grandma’s funeral or memorial service and one line in particular stuck with me.
“And to our loved ones pain and death draw near;
Our tears may flow, yet trustingly we cry Namo Amida Butsu.”
I think that this line perfectly summarized what I interpreted Namo Amida Butsu as meaning for me when my grandma passed away. Reciting the Nembutsu is a reminder that I cannot break free from the truth of impermanence that we all must face and that I am limited in my own ability to realize this. So, reciting Namo Amida Butsu is a reminder that I should entrust in the Buddha, Dharma, and the Sangha to guide me as I try to navigate this world filled with suffering.
Another experience that helped me better understand the Nembutsu was when my grandpa passed away in the summer of 2018. The year he passed away was a very dark year for myself. Within five months of my grandpa’s passing, my friend from high school died by suicide. One week after that, a good family friend had a workplace accident and died. Then in the following spring semester of my final year of undergrad, I entered my externship placement where I would intern as a hospice social worker. There, I saw my clients come and go. Some I was with for months and others I was with just for a few weeks. And then that summer a mentor and supporter of my rebellious behavior within the temple community passed away unexpectedly from cancer.
During this time, I felt isolated and alone. I questioned how could the Nembutsu save them from death? How can the Nembutsu save me from feeling that pain? As I sat there contemplating all that I had lost that year, I realized how selfish I was being. I put myself at the center of those deaths and did not see how it was affecting their friends and families.
This is when I remembered the gatha Namo Amida Butsu.
“Even though our way leads ‘neath a darkened sky,
And to our loved ones pain and death draw nigh;
Our tears may flow, yet trustingly we cry
Namo Amida Butsu.”
The language of this gatha is so beautiful. It reiterates the truth that pain and death are inevitable. They are the only constant in this life. Nobody is immune to it. There is no “I” in the gatha, but instead, it emphasizes interdependence. It is not “my way,” or “my tears,” or “I cry,” but “our way,” “our tears,” “we cry.”
We Are Not Alone
And so, I have come to understand the Nembutsu as two things. First, the Nembutsu is not just Namo Amida Butsu. Namo Amida Butsu is countless things rolled up into one phrase. In the gatha it says “trustingly we cry” as a way to say “I am in good hands, you are in good hands, so let the Buddha guide us”. With all that has happened around me, the Nembutsu is a way to remind us that we cannot end our suffering alone and thus we entrust our hearts and minds in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. In our darkest times, we recite Nembutsu to remind us that we are not alone. “Our tears may flow, yet trustingly we cry Namo Amida Butsu.” Nembutsu is a reminder of the impact of people’s lives and how they too are our Dharma teachers.
Nembutsu Says “Thank You”
And so, the Nembutsu also becomes a way to say “thank you.” During this time, I turned to a good friend and mentor of mine to help me understand all that was happening and why Nembutsu is so important. Bob Oshita Sensei reminded me that the Nembutsu is also “when the words thank you just aren’t enough.” We say Namo Amida Butsu before we eat to remind us of the lives and work it took to bring the food before us and to thank those who sacrificed for us. We open and close our meetings with Nembutsu as a way to say thank you to all those in the room for working together and for the causes and conditions bringing us all together. Even if we are not thinking it when we say it, Namo Amida Butsu is also thank you. Oshita Sensei reminded me that those that have left this earth do not leave but simply change forms. They turn into the Nembutsu. Each time we recite it, we allow them to live on in our hearts and minds and remember the impact they had on our lives and thus we say Namo Amida Butsu as an expression of deep gratitude.
Because of this, it is important to know that the Nembutsu will always be there. It will not solve our problems, it will not prevent death, or poverty, or sickness, but it will always be there guiding us towards the Buddhist path of liberation. As we recite Namo Amida Butsu, in our happiest of times and in our darkest of times, we can trust that all those who came before us and all those who will come after us are embracing us within the infinite Wisdom and Compassion of Amida Buddha.
Namu Amida Butsu,
Rev. Devon Matsumoto